Okay, so here's what I think I know so far about The Electo-Fest-2008:
1. Mike Huckabee is a charming, formerly fat, Arkansas governor who not only wants to repeal abortion rights but also thinks he can figure out a way to have a national sales tax not disproportionately hit the poor. Conclusion: Scary, though, it's cute when people accidentally say "Hucklebee."
2. Ron Paul honestly seems to think it's sufficient to simply disavow racist & homophobic stuff said in a newsletter that bore his name. Because he was busy and didn't notice what was being printed. Is this how he will run a presidency? Conclusion: Just 'cuz you're anti-war doesn't make you presidential material.
3. Hillary Clinton is either, according to her critics, a cold, calculating bitch or completely out of control. Or both. Conclusion: I don't have to hate someone just to think she might not be the right person to be president.
4. John Edwards is also charming. Therefore I do not trust him. Conclusion: I have a knee-jerk reaction to charming men. Watch out for that knee, guys!
5. Barack Obama has a same-old, same-old package of ideas wrapped in charm and charisma. Conclusion: see #4 above.
6. Mitt Romney is the devil. Conclusion: someone doesn't have to be charming for me to distrust him.
7. I want a candidate who completely caters to my needs but is really smart and recognizes when my immediate self-interest may undermine my long-term goals, and can explain that to me in a way that's neither too charming or too wonky. Conclusion: I have no idea who I want to support.