Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Presidential Stuff

Okay, so here's what I think I know so far about The Electo-Fest-2008:

1. Mike Huckabee is a charming, formerly fat, Arkansas governor who not only wants to repeal abortion rights but also thinks he can figure out a way to have a national sales tax not disproportionately hit the poor. Conclusion: Scary, though, it's cute when people accidentally say "Hucklebee."

2. Ron Paul honestly seems to think it's sufficient to simply disavow racist & homophobic stuff said in a newsletter that bore his name. Because he was busy and didn't notice what was being printed. Is this how he will run a presidency? Conclusion: Just 'cuz you're anti-war doesn't make you presidential material.

3. Hillary Clinton is either, according to her critics, a cold, calculating bitch or completely out of control. Or both. Conclusion: I don't have to hate someone just to think she might not be the right person to be president.

4. John Edwards is also charming. Therefore I do not trust him. Conclusion: I have a knee-jerk reaction to charming men. Watch out for that knee, guys!

5. Barack Obama has a same-old, same-old package of ideas wrapped in charm and charisma. Conclusion: see #4 above.

6. Mitt Romney is the devil. Conclusion: someone doesn't have to be charming for me to distrust him.

7. I want a candidate who completely caters to my needs but is really smart and recognizes when my immediate self-interest may undermine my long-term goals, and can explain that to me in a way that's neither too charming or too wonky. Conclusion: I have no idea who I want to support.


Dr. Write said...

Join the club sister.
I distrust everyone. But I think I'm going with Edwards.

Jonathan Benda said...

The two best reasons I can think of for supporting Huckabee:

1) Chuck Norris (after all, the Total Gym I had was pretty cool).
2) Kevin Spacey could play him in the movie.

Lisa B. said...

Ditto everything you said except: no one who doesn't unequivocally support abortion rights gets a big fat no from me. (Huckabee, Paul, Romney . . . hmm, all the Repubs!). And (b), I do like Edwards because he pulls the Demos a little toward having to think about stuff they otherwise don't seem to give a shit about--at least as long as he stays in the race, which realistically won't be much longer.

Dispiriting election in my view, given how much it feels like there's so much at stake.