Affirmations

So, I've always been a total cynic about affirmations. I mean, really--cloying sayings that are supposed to improve my self esteem? Really?

So, when my very smart therapist recommended them as a strategy for dealing with job interview anxiety, I thought, okay, I'll give 'em a try. And a few months later, I finally got around to it.

So, in addition to the usual "I am strong," "I am beautiful" sorts of affirmations, I've got some good "I can" and "I will" statements:
I can let go of fear.
I can ask for what I want.
I can love myself for who I am.

I will ask for what I want.
I will take a new risk each day.

I'm also working hard at limiting the whole negative self-talk thing. In addition to the usual "shut the f*** up" response--which is really quite effective--I've started noticing the flip side of my flaws. Because it seems that frequently, the things I don't like about myself are just Side B of the things that I do.

Like the thin skin. Yeah, really thin skin. Easily hurt, quick to cry, slow to recover. But you know, I'm also very sensitive to others' needs, not just my own. And I'm quick to defend them--even folks I may be in competition with.

But that's another story.

So, final affirmation for today:
I can love my Side B's along with the Side A's.

Oh, and last week, I went to two different social events by myself--where I knew no one. I won't say I had the best time ever, but not bad.

Much Better Thanks, and Seven Facts

I'm feeling much better, but did no work for two days. And now I have to face the students again. Argh. So, with my little bit of energy (drawn from that two ounces of juice, one bite of jello, half a cup of oatmeal, slice of toast with honey, and bowl of ramen--a veritable feast today!) I take on this meme, for which I have been tagged by Dr. Write:

The Rules
1. List the link to your tagger and also post these following rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird, etc.
3. Tag 7 people at the the end of your blog also leaving the links to their blogs
4. Let them know they are "TAGGED" by leaving a comment on their blog

Seven facts about me:
1. I think I should appreciate opera, but I've never gotten around to it.

2. "Should" plays far too large a role in my vocabulary, as in "should have finished that PhD two years ago," "should do sit ups every day," "should be a more compassionate person." (Note how if I actually applied that last one, I wouldn't should myself so much.)

3. Even now, when I pass by places accepting job applications, I sometimes think "I should apply there." Like, Starbucks. I hear they have excellent benefits.

4. I'm in therapy. Here are some recent revelations: a) I have to ask for what I want; b) which means I have to figure out what I want; c) sometimes you have to ask for what you want more than once; d) I sometimes still behave as if I'm in my last relationship, even though my GF is very very different; e) childhood bullying had a huge impact on me, which really sucks.

5. I think my photographs are really fabulous, and wonder why others don't see what I see in all those closeups of trees.

6. I still believe that I'll make Christmas presents.

7. I hate tagging people. It feels like a popularity contest, because, quite frankly, I don't have that many friends in Blog-O-World (oh, like "blogosphere" is so much better). So, on this meme, they've probably all been tagged already