There are prizes?

I just adore spam. So long as it stays in the spam folder. Here's a fun new one:

"Your schlong will win prizes"

So, what sort of penis contests are they holding these days? Is it like a beauty pageant? Or a dog show? Or more like American Idol? Will my penis need to have a talent or evening gown? Prepare an audition?

And what sorts of prizes? Do I get lots of cash, or just freebie condoms I coulda got at the LGBT center?

I'm just wonderin'.