Thursday, August 20, 2009

Taking Pictures of My Boobs

Yesterday's big excitement: breast MRI! Because of family history and a recent mammogram that showed "increased density"--something doctors have started noting as a potential early indicator of possible cancer (note the tentativeness there)--I now have a specialist and some more pretty pictures of my breasts. Here are lessons I'd like to share from yesterday's experience:
1. The sounds emitted during an MRI are reminiscent of a performance art piece.
2. Even though I'm not at all claustrophobic, I couldn't help getting a bit anxious during the whole thing, and began to wonder if my more-rapid-than-usual breathing was going to mess up the process.
3. In particular, I kept waiting for the contrast dye to hit my bloodstream, and never felt it. Which made me wonder if I'd lost all sense of time, since the MRI guy said it was gonna happen in the next minute or so.
4. They should post a clock on the wall so that we can actually tell how much time has passed.
5. Lying face down on a flat surface and letting one's boobs dangle through the holes provided is really pretty funny.
6. Make sure your arm is really really comfortable before it all starts. I didn't pick the best position, so it was getting challenging to hold it there by the end.
7. Just because everyone else on the street is parking on both sides doesn't mean you have carte blanche to ignore the opposite-side-of-the-street parking rules (see Parking Citation).
8. While I understand the rigorous security at hospital entrances, it's kind of a pain when you're only going in for a short test. Case in point: the three elderly volunteers took 10 minutes to issue my fiancee a visitor's pass so that she could accompany me. They seemed like lovely ladies, but their computer skills weren't quite up to speed.

As for the results: stay tuned.


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