So, I dreamt last night that I was at the annual MLA conference doing job interviews. I was, of course, late arriving--I arrived minutes before I was supposed to give a big job talk, which turned out to be an elaborate affair. I had to pull together an appropriate outfit, and as I was trying to get some clothes, my friend KW did my makeup. It turns out she butchered my eyebrows and gave me elaborate eyeliner. (Hear that, KW? You are never ever going to pluck my eyebrows for me!) And I was madly trying to find someplace to print out my unfinished job talk and accompanying handout, which we managed to do at the back of someone's store. (In my previous MLA nightmare, a few years ago, the conference appeared to be held at the Caesar's Palace Las Vegas shopping mall.) And then it seemed that the conference was using some sort of projection system for the text, like the President gets for his state of the union address. I did an okay if rushed job.
But then I had another, more casual interview with another school, where two faculty sat and chatted with me about basic writing. They suggested that by studying word order in High German students could learn to write more effectively. Yeah, that's going to happen. After the interview my dissertation chair told me that I had given incorrect information, and I defended myself by saying, of course, I have no formal training in this area!
Oh, but the interviewing faculty gave me a parting gift. Which was very nice.