Thanks to Clancy for this entertaining meme! Do a Google search for [Your first name] needs:
Susan needs opportunities to practice literate speech and help in ...
[...]your susan needs a lip, otherwise small things disappear forever [...]
Susan needs to write "her age". Her intelligence. Her life experience.
Susan needs your help now to prepare for the election call.
Susan needs to keep reading her quit tips because her roommate still smokes outside their apartment.
Susan needs to develop a strategy for the safe enjoyment of some of the more ...
Susan needs a set of t-shirts graced with silly cliches.
Susan needs no time for Reflection.
Others have asked if Susan needs blood donors.
Susan needs to find volunteers from projects.
Susan needs authorization to submit the budget when it's called for.
Susan needs to encrypt her files.
Susan needs to do this to keep spam under control.
Susan needs only a clear picture of the subject and detailed directions by you to produce a desired piece of artwork.
All so, so true.